Last year I experienced my third round with Depression because I was not taking my medication properly. For the past several months I have been going to counseling and this has helped me tremendously. I discovered I was overwhelmed by all my medical issues and I was tired of being ill. I found out that I never really grieved the losses I experience due to the time it takes to maintain my health. I thought I always have accepted my condition but actually I was just in denial. I lived between denial, self- blame, and fear. I did not allow myself to be angry or sad I just kept going without acknowledging my feelings. In the past six months I have given myself permission to be sad, to cry and feel bad for myself. This has been a healing process. I am able now to move towards acceptance of my condition and let go of distress.
Grieving occurs from any kind of loss, not just death. One naturally goes through denial, blame, anger, and sadness before one can get to acceptance. As I progress to acceptance I look forward to living my life instead of struggling through it. While going through this healing process I have learned some techniques to help me cope. My next few posts will describe what I have learned.
In the words of the Walgreens pharmacy I visit frequently, “be well”! Look for my next installment next week!