Me, Myself, and I

At the end of last year, I started not taking all of my medication as prescribed including one of my Depression medications.  So at the stroke of midnight, 2016, I committed to following inspiration from one word – DISCIPLINE (see previous post).  January started rough but I did return to taking my medications.  Nevertheless, it was too late.  I was already unstable from weeks of not carrying out my 6M plan.  Last week, I ended up in the hospital again.

Today I have returned home.  Round 4 of Depression, a five day hospital stay.  During the stay, I read some of the book “Fervent – A Woman’s Battle Plan for Serious, Specific, and Strategic Prayer” based on the Christian movie, “War Room”.  The book discusses different strategies for making a prayer plan and keeping away the enemy.  Chapter 2 explained the “focus” strategy.  When one is focused one clears away things that are less important thus minimizing distractions.  The enemy wants you to focus on the visible rather than God.  This got me thinking.  Focusing on God in prayer is similar to focusing on my medical needs.  So, what did I learn?  I learned to make myself and my care most important in life.  As a friend told me just last week, I need to make me #1, el numero uno in my translation.  I know how to take care of myself and what needs to be done to do it.  I need to make me and my medical needs priority rather than be preoccupied by others needs.  Instead of fighting everyone’s battles and serving their needs, I need to care for myself first.  By focusing on me first I am stronger which in turn enables me to help others more effectively.  I can still serve, give and care for others without neglecting my own needs.  I will no longer fight others’ battles because that does nothing for myself.  I fight for my survival…just me, myself, and I.

So maybe I have two words now – DISCIPLINE AND FOCUS

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms”.  (Eph. 6:12, NIV)

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